South Korean Culture

My day yesterday… Up early and in the hotel lobby at 6:30 AM. Drive for an hour and a half to get to work. Worked a long day with a great Korean lunch tucked in the middle. It was a traditional lunch where you sit on the floor. This was a wonderful little restaurant that was impossible to see from the road but we ducked between some trees and took a tiny trail – in the middle of the city – and there it was. Worked all day and left at 5:30 PM – just in time for rush hour traffic. Drove for two hours bumper to bumper. 3M tells people NOT to drive in Seoul and I can understand why. We headed to a restaurant that was near our hotel. There were four of us including Sunny and my host, Jong Inn. This was the high-end Korean restaurant and everything from the food to the décor was traditional. I heard the music being played over the speakers – sounded traditional – but it “Over the Rainbow” and songs from the Carpenters being played on traditional Korean instruments! I will add at this point that I have surprised even myself at trying each and every food that was provided in every country (with different results, as you may know). I wasn’t sure I could do it everywhere, especially in Japan and Korea. I may not take seconds, but I’ve at least tasted everything. So the Korean restaurant meal starts out with about 20 little dishes of stuff – each one has something different. (Sunny said at home they have 5-8 small dishes.) These are all just side dishes to the main meal. They also provide lettuce leaves so you can put a bit of stuff into the leaf and roll it up to eat it. For lunch we had a big bowl of beef soup/stew with rice noodles – it was delicious! You get a tiny little bowl for your stew and maybe some rice, then everyone just picks what they want from the middle – all shared – you don’t get a plate for your own food. The real test of my chopstick skill is to see if I can reach all the way across the table for a bit and carry it all the way back to my mouth without dropping it. I’m doing pretty well, but in Korea the chopsticks are different and harder for me to handle. (They changed to stainless steel many years ago to save on wood and then they make them thinner and flat.) I can do most things with chopsticks, but the one thing that I can’t do yet is pick up mango slices – way too slippery! Fresh mango… yum! The little dishes of food have everything from fruit and vegetables to Kimchee (fermented style vegetable dish) and hot peppers. There was one I reached for and it looked like a very skinny, long, red pepper that had been candied or something. Looking at the color, I was cautious. I asked what it was and was told “dried fish”. It looked again more closely – it was a tiny little fish! Very delicious. I must admit I had a little bit of a hard time when I would pick up a piece of seafood and ask “How do I eat this”, and the reply starts with “First you chop off the head…” We had octopus soup for dinner – they were tiny and you eat them whole. (Yes, they were dead but I heard that you can get them live. I was told when you put them in your mouth they grab on to your tongue and the sides of your cheeks and you have to work to pry them off before you eat them. I think I could NOT do that one.) My hosts were kind enough to not order the dog stew for either meal. We had beef. Yes, the dog platters are common and are on the menu right next to beef and pork. (Not many strays in town. I only saw one tiny dog on the mountain.) A few notes about Koreans. First, they are always looking to find a way to connect – even with foreigners. If you have a connection through a town or common acquaintance, if you both have kids, like ice-cream, whatever. Also, there are certain things that raise your standings in the Korean eyes – having kids is one of those things so I automatically start out on good footing. My host, Jong Inn, is always talking to me about his kids, but he usually only addresses me when he does this, not my childless coworkers. Also, I met a young lady that was on her first day back from maternity leave and talked to her at length about her baby, how it’s going, etc. She extended great courtesy to me through my stay and gives me warm, personal greetings. Back to dinner… So when the spicy octopus soup dish came out – lots of peppers, I was dished up a spoonful by Jong Inn. He was very surprised that I liked it! (Up one notch for me.) Then he asked if I ever ate raw fish – he couldn’t believe I had! (Standings going up again.) It was definitely spicy, but I could still handle it – and it was actually delicious. So I thought I’d push it one more time… I reached over and dished myself ANOTHER big spoonful. Jong Inn’s eyes got huge and he got very dramatic. “Ohhhh – she like it! I cannot believe it! We could be relations!” I finally made it – he now considered me like-family. We also had traditional Korean wine for dinner. (100 year wine – named not for it’s age but for how long it will make you live.) Sunny was kind enough to order the mild version for most of us (still quite strong though – more like our dessert wine) and Jong Inn had the more potent version. Now for another lesson in Korean business culture… They like to drink! I’ve read a lot over the years about the drinking games that can go on after a business dinner. I only experienced this to a minor extent (thankfully!) but it was interesting to watch and navigate. In Japan if you empty your saki cup it means you have had all you want and you are done. If you leave a little left then you are saying you would like more. In Korea it’s opposite – officially. (All these rules!) If you drink it all it means you are not satisfied and you want more. But then they add different rules and find some excuse to top off the glass anyway. Several times they would joke that I had gotten a “penalty” for some reason and needed to have my glass refilled. (I really don’t think there was an actual reason to the penalty.) I realize that they want to drink with their guests – and many people get smashed in the process. I had my tiny cup constantly refilled and was not wanting much more, but found a little way around the situation… I kept up with it until HE got smashed, then he never realized I wasn’t drinking anymore. What a deal. (The best part is that in Korea they have a system where you call a service and they come to you and drive you home in your own car – so there is no excuse for drunk driving. It works very well here. Yes – we used it to get home.) At the end of the meal there was a delicious pomegranate tea, which seemed just like warm juice. It was wonderful. Over dinner I got huge lessons on Korean culture and naming conventions. We laughed a LOT – which was great. They’ve been wonderful to work with. After dinner we walked by the little shops in the area and saw a vendor making a traditional cake called Kkultare. There were two of them and they put on quite a performance as they worked, describing what they were doing the whole time. I was the one foreigner in the group and thus was the source of many jokes and laughter – they built it into the performance. The would be describing something and then say, “for the American it’s called…” and then say something in English just for me. It was very funny and we were all laughing, but there were moments were when they were talking in Korean and then everyone would laugh and turn around to look at me, but I was not privy to what the joke was. The cake starts by using “cured honey” cakes that are hard and look like a big hockey puck. They have a bin of cornstarch that they dip it into so it’s not too sticky, then they press a hole in the center. He starts to make the hole bigger until he has a circle “rope” of honey. Then he dips it into the cornstarch and doubles the loop over to have two loops. Stretch it, work it, stretch it, dip it, loop it, and now you have 4 loops. He did this very quickly and within a minute he had 60,000 strands of honey – thinner than thread! Then they cut off a piece, roll a tiny bit of almond paste in the center, and it’s done. Very tasty little treat! We bought some and after everyone had their fill there were three left – which they gave me to bring home to my family. One more side note… It started raining and I was given the one umbrella we had. “For the foreigner.” I offered to share it with the eldest of the group (showing my knowledge of Korean culture and good manners) but he refused and Sunny came up to me saying “Well then, the girls will use it.” She reached over and held the handle with me so we could both be under it. THIS was one of the first times I’ve had real touch since the trip started! We walked slowly – hands, arms, and shoulders touching the entire time. At one point she even put her arm around me gently to guide me onto the correct walking path. Just a gentle touch, nothing else. It was so amazing how you miss it – even for just a little while – and how much it means. It was a very sweet moment. So, up early, long day, late night, up early again. Then we got some sad news. Jong Inn’s oldest brother died last night and he needs to go home to his family for the ceremonies. He’s taking us to the office but will leave early at some point. Off to Shanghai tomorrow - may blog more – may not. Andy – we can skype tonight. Love you!!!