I need a HUG!

I’ve been meaning to write a few words on touching… I had read quite a bit, and have learned over the years, that people in Japan do not prefer touching. They normally bow when they meet – they do not shake hands - and there is very little physical contact, especially in the workplace. I knew this going in, but I was still amazed at my personal reaction to all of it. I didn’t ever realize just how much touching I do on a daily basis. There’s home – constantly wrestling and kissing the kids, snogging with Andy, petting the dog when I walk by. Even at work I’ll touch someone’s arm or hand, or even touch their shoulder to let them know I’m passing as I need to get around a group of people. In Japan, there is so little contact I can remember nearly each and every time it happened. The person on the subway who fell asleep and leaned up against me (this happens a lot, I guess). Shaking hands, which they will do with foreigners if we visit but they aren’t comfortable with it. The two little girls that I gave tiny felt pixies to – touching their hands as I wrapped the little doll around a finger. These were such isolated instances. Since I’m not getting touch after work hours it’s actually wearing on me! I need a HUG! I have pushed it a little bit but since these are work relationships I don’t want to make them uncomfortable. I automatically reached out and grabbed someone’s hand once as I suddenly remembered something I needed to tell him. His hands pulled back a bit and his eyes nearly popped out of his head. I know what this feels like though. There was the time at work when a guy from Mexico said goodbye by giving me a kiss on the cheek – in front of my coworkers (which they thought was a great show). I’m sure MY eyes popped out of my head too. You just don’t do that at work in St. Paul. So, I’m trying to respect their personal boundaries. I saw a group of Italians staying at my hotel in Japan. They were being gregarious and laughing/touching – having a good time. I considered jumping in the middle just to see if I could share! I really wanted to hug my friends after they showed me around all weekend – but I couldn’t. What I do instead is extend my hand to show them I want to shake as we part – then I hold on to their hand with both of mine as I tell them how much I appreciate what they’ve done for me. Even this makes them very uncomfortable - I can see it in their faces. I didn’t even see much public display of affection except in the more modern areas of town. The most I saw was teenagers holding hands. Even Takashi and Junko didn’t hold hands. A few times he put his hand on her waist for just a moment, but that was it. Taiwan seems different on a casual basis but work is still pretty non-touch. I’ve read that in Singapore the males and females keep at a large distance (arms length) and do not even shake hands. This is due to the fact that there’s a mixture of cultures (Indian, Malay, Chinese, etc.) and Muslim men and women do not touch. Since you don’t know who you are meeting, you just bow your head slightly. Handshakes are less common. I’ve found that 3M people are more willing to shake hands than the general population though. I guess we’ll just have to see. I’ve been thinking I would get a massage on this trip. Now I want one more than ever . Be ready for hugs when I get home – I'll have some catching up to do.